I have a question to pose to all the ladies out there in blogger land. When you met your significant other, did you really like them to begin with or was it sort of a growing process?
I am having this major meltdown over absolutely nothing. There is someone who likes me. He's been pursuing me for months and I finally agreed to go out with him not long ago because I just got tired of him bothering me. We went out and I didn't think much of it. Nice guy, but no real spark between us. Somehow we started hanging out, once every couple weeks or once a week. He texts me every single day. And he even sent me flowers the other day at work. And I don't care what anyone says, I am not used to getting flowers, so I think it's a big deal. Call me crazy, because I didn't think that was protocal, but that's what everyone is telling me.
I like him, but it isn't this intense feeling that I should be with him. I kind of feel like that everyone wants me to be with him and he's a nice enough guy, so what do I have to lose? He's done all these things to better himself so that I would maybe give him a chance. He quit working at the bar except for one night a week, got a real job, stopped acting completely ridiculous all the time. Everyone harps about how awesome he is and how we should be together, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. I enjoy his company and it's nice for someone to do nice things for me. I guess I want some obvious sign that'll tell me what to do.
I've been single for so long that I'm used to the way I do things. I thought that I was ready for a serious relationship but after the singlehood for so long, I'm not willing to compromise my life for someone else right now. I like doing what I want, when I want to. I like hanging out and talking to whomever I like, guys and girls, and not having to worry about working in some boyfriend's issues and time constraints also. I can't figure out if I'm just being selfish and I really am too scared to change my ways, or if I really don't want to get serious with this particular guy.
...I feel like a moron for complaining about someone who likes me and wants to do nice things for me. There are more important things going on besides that, but it's really something I can't get off my mind. I need help.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Whining is what I do best.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 Other Random thoughts:
Okay honey... you just calm down and let momma tell you what's what... Oh girl, I know where you're at an I know exactly what you should do. Be 100% honest with him... Tell him how you feel.
You're not ready... If he's as awesome as everyone thinks he is then he'll chill out and hang with you. You'll see if you care about him, if you're just set in your ways... Whatev's it really is.
If he doesn't want to hang while you work your stuff out then he sucks and was totally not right for you to begin with.
He sounds kick ass. And attraction isn't always something that happens immediately. sometimes you have to be friends for a while before it can.... trust me on this one. LIke I said, be honest and considerate of his feelings. He deserves to know how you feel. Tell him you like your life, but you're not closing him out, you're asking for some sway...
Trust your big sis on this one. Honesty with him and yourself is the right thing.
This is going to sound nutty, but I swear it is true. 7 or 8 years ago, my best friend met a guy while student teaching. HE was a friend of a friend. He pursued her like crazy - sent her flowers to the school, roses on Valentines Day. She still wasn't convinced that he was the one. They are now married and expecting their 2nd child. And she is an elementary school reading teacher.
For me, as soon as I met my husband, I knew I was going to marry him. I just did. In fact, after he stopped to talk to me on a bench outside my dorm room, I went upstairs, called my mom and told her I just met a guy that I was going to date (I couldn't say marry, that would jinx it). Seven years later I convinced him it was time:)
PS... Brought this up to Jason for his take on it and he said it doesn't matter... He said you can't make any decisions on this guy at all until he gets to meet him and tells you if he's okay or not... :) Your big brother loves you.
And Amybow is exactly right. Love never happens the same for everyone. Maybe you should try not being such a girl and being more of a guy. Just have fun and see what happens... Who needs any sort of commitment just yet??? Don't over think it lovey.
I don't know that I am any expert on this...but here is my 2 cents (and that may be all it is worth!). Just take it easy and go with it for now. You don't have to commit to this guy...you can hang out with him when/if you want to and then still be free to hang out with anyone else too. Be honest with him and tell him you think he is nice, etc/whatever you want to tell him but that you are not "in love" with him. You want to still hang out like you have been, but at least right now you are not ready to take it any farther. If he is as great as everyone else says, then he will get it and do whatever to be with you at some point. You can't choose who to be with because of other people.
Love is different for everyone...some feel it right away, others feel it grow over time, and anything in between. It doesn't have to follow a set path.
Not sure I helped, but there you have it!
You are getting good advice. Take it slow. I was younger than you when I met my hubby and man was I pissed that he showed up in my life. My plan was to lead the single life until 30, then start to get serious...instead, I meet him at 19. And within a few weeks he told me he loved me. I pushed him away as hard as I could, but he kept coming back for more. 18 years of marriage later...
Anyway - have fun! You're young! If you like hanging out with this guy do it - just don't let anyone tell you how to feel and when to feel it. It is the oldest and corniest saying in the book, but you'll know when it's right (may be the same guy, but different time).
Post a Comment